So once True Detective is over, and this season of Justified has run its course, I think I need a show that isn’t directly about murder, and doesn’t feature multiple murders every episode. (For a show that’s not about murder, Justified has a whoooooole bunch of murders.) I started watching House of Cards season 2 but it got off to a pretty doggone murdery start so I stopped watching. Thank goodness Mad Men is coming back because there is only suicide and dreams about murders and sometimes flashbacks to war death. I am going to finally watch Freaks and Geeks because I don’t think there are a lot of murders in it. Heather watches Nashville and I sometimes check out a few minutes and I am pretty sure there was some murder on there. Friday Night Lights had a sort-of murder I guess. But one sort-of murder over several seasons isn’t that bad, particularly in Texas. Game of Thrones is bound to have a buttload of murder and a buttload of nudity and lots of overlap. Did you folks watch the Shield? Lots and lots of murder!!! Hannibal at times is good, but I feel like it has quite a bit of murder. I watched some of Dexter and found it to contain many many murders. And now that I really think about it, so did the Sopranos!
I think one thing I really like about True Detective is that it presents murder as being a pretty bad deal, and even though the leads are deeply flawed, they sure seem to have this weird thing where they want people to not murder other people.
Kids will wreck your entire life. PAR EXAMPLE, Heather and I went to a concert on Saturday night and didn’t get much sleep. THEN, on Sunday we sat down to play board games with the kids and and between one round of Ticket to Ride and 3/4 of a round of Settlers of Catan Seafarers, I had like 9 beers and then we had to break for dinner and I ate so much steak I passed out on the couch at like 7:45 and missed True Detective, the Oscars and that bullcrap zombie show I hate anyway.
THANKS A LOT DUDES
My son turns 11 today and how effusive do I need to be on social media, and on how many social media channels? He is not on social media sites but I want people to know and appreciate what a kind father I am.
So I have no doubt that an NFL LOCKER ROOM is pretty different from most other workplaces what with all the really in shape nude guys but is it SO DIFFERENT that somehow they will have no idea how to act if one of the guys in the locker room is into dudes instead of ladies? I heard a 10 minute discussion on whether THE GUYS will know when a joke has gone too far, like they have never interacted with other humans before. Maybe they don’t know that even some STRAIGHTS have varying sensitivity with regard to jokes. For example, some guys don’t mind “I boned your mom” jokes, whereas some guys take great offense. I expect that the heterosexual humans and homosexual humans in the locker room can collectively learn where their respective comedic sensibilities lie.
Personally, I expect some people will crack insensitive jokes that won’t really bother anyone except for the self-righteous media. I would be more on the lookout for flat out anti-gay folks like Garrison Hearst or people who take the religious angle like Chris Broussard. My guess is the LOCKER ROOM will come down hard on anyone who makes statements like Hearsts’ and will work to help the religious objectors get over themselves. Sort of like LOTS OF OTHER WORKPLACES.
If you are determined to stay together for the kids, there are some things you have to bury deep inside you and never discuss again, like if you were watching a heavily edited airing of Pulp Fiction on cable and remark about the travesty that was the Best Picture Oscar at the 67th Academy Awards and your wife indicates that while she prefers Pulp Fiction, Forrest Gump is sufficiently great to be Oscar worthy.
Honey, I don’t know if you are reading this, but my future silence on this issue should not be regarded as a sign I am okay with it.
So, I have a sense that people are clamoring to know what kind of music I like. Calm down, calm down, I will tell you, or at least give you a glimpse. And the way I think I am going to do that is to do a LIST of my favorite RECORDS. (Records meaning tapes or albums or CDs or eight tracks but something anyways where an artist intentionally releases a collection of songs.)
Now, I think that fans of album-oriented music have a really large group of maybe 100 albums or so that are generally acceptable as peoples’ top 5 albums. As in, most peoples’ top 5 lists will consist of some combination of those 50 albums. Your Revolvers or Abbey Roads, Exile on Main Street, Sticky Fingers, Led Zeppelin II, Back in Black, Low End Theory, OK Computer, Pet Sounds, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Enter the Wu-Tang, Paul’s Boutique, The Soft Bulletin, Taylor Hicks’ self-titled debut, Nevermind, Blonde on Blonde, London Calling, Raising Hell, Thriller, Joshua Tree. you get the picture, I think. Basically I don’t want to do a list only to have people say “oh wow, Jason likes Odelay and Appetite for Destruction? Who would have guessed????
Like most of my fun tumblr projects, I will probably abandon this one early on, and you’ll end up thinking the only album I have ever really loved is “Very” by the Pet Shop Boys.
“I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris, Chaetodon capistratus. You name it. Then one day I say, “fuck fish”. I renounce fish. I vow never to set foot in that ocean again. That’s how much “fuck fish””
- John Laroche (character based on real-life John Laroche) “Adaptation.
Unlike John Laroche, who appears to base his decisions on impulsivity then resolves to never look back once ties are severed, I had a very strong reason for shaving my beard- namely an article discussing how beards are “mainstream” because of MATT LAUER and JAY CARNEY and AL ROKER. So I went home, clipped, and shaved. That’s how much “fuck beards.” Still, I am now questioning whether this was the right choice- if I really don’t care what others think, I should want a beard whether Matt Lauer has one or not. Was my beard a personal choice, or was it rebellion against some nonspecific fashion norms, and if it was rebellion, isn’t the deliberate and calculated rejection of fashion just as insincere as being a slave to it? Should I go dig up my Public Image Limited tapes? It’s a lot to think about, and my face is cold. IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY TO HAVE MY BEARD BACK IN 2-3 WEEKS OR SO.
I also had the ladies at SportsClips cut my hair very very short, while I watched sports highlights. This decision was rather impulsive and is one I deeply deeply regret. My hair was special. My calling card. Sure, I can wear a winter hat without completely wrecking my hair, but that minor improvement is cold comfort. IRONIC PUN TOTALLY INTENDED.
In sum, due to poor decisions, I have the face and head region of a completely unremarkable, moderately overweight, middle aged jerk. Sigh.
You would love having me as a Facebook friend. For instance, I am friends with a guy from Germany who was an exchange student in my high school in 1989. I was going to write “happy birthday” in German but instead I wrote “happy birthday in German!” He will probably get it. He has Facebook friends with first names like “Hartmut” and last names like “Barhold” except with umlauts so he is legit German.
Anyways, gonna go post some wacky news stories then scroll through my own pictures to laugh at how creative my Elf on the Shelf stuff was this year.
So things are going okay, I have really cut back on the weekday drinking, in other words, obviously I drank on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s day, then I took Thursday off, and obviously I had some drinks Friday, and Saturday was my birthday so, duh, had some drinks and then on Sunday my wife was deathly sick and I made a giant lasagna by myself so obviously had a few. Monday and Tuesday though, TOTALLY DRY. I have been doing okay on the food intake but I have not lost the 30 pounds required to fit into certain suits yet, hopefully next week. Still using the elliptical a LOT even though there are major challenges such as the cable in the basement has been spotty and it wouldn’t let me watch Lord of the Rings the other day which I planned on doing the elliptical for the whole 12-15 hours so instead I did like 40 minutes.
I was thinking it might help motivate me if I posted more pictures with my shirt off, like a before/in progress/after thing. So like every morning and every night, then before and after every meal (except to the extent, for example, the “every morning” and “before breakfast” picture would coincide.) Then before and after every workout, and not to be gross but it would probably also make sense to do before and after every time I use the toilet.
Usually I like to drink bourbon when we do family games, and last night we played Settlers of Catan and I just had water. Settlers of Catan is a lot like chess in that once my kids are able to beat me at it regularly, I imagine I will stop wanting to play so much.
I believe I get more texts tomorrow because it is when my billing cycle resets, and it is not simply my wireless carrier providing me a special birthday present of renewed lines of communication with family and friends. I am going to be 41 tomorrow and for some reason, having all those fresh, free texts is going to feel great.
The reason I ran out of texts is because over the holidays I drank too much and sent tons of wacky messages. Drinking too much (or, rather, the elimination thereof) is one of my New Years Resolutions, but I will try to maintain that drunken feeling of certainty that my friends and family would appreciate a series of late night zany texts. After tomorrow gets here I mean.