Suburban Report

The goings on of the people of Cranberry

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Flu Shot

I have seen a lot of stuff on Facebook about the crummy things that have happened to people when they get the flu shot and I didn’t believe it until I got a flu shot at Costco last night and this morning I woke up with what feels like a re-aggravation of some lingering plantar fasciitis in my left arch.  My initial suspicion was it was because I have recently been adding a few miles to my running routine despite being so fat that it has to be hell on every joint and moving part in my body.  But nope, it was that god damn flu shot.

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copycatr asked: you ever wonder whether when we die if they'll just tell us how much peanut butter we ate while we were alive or if they'll hide it behind some lameass pay wall?

To answer your specific question, yes I do wonder that. I think the answer is obviously related to whether you live a life of piety and virtue. I believe in your case, you will spend an eternity where the rivers flow with Jif, unless of course you are a Skippy man, in which case you will burn in hell with all the rest.

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Anonymous asked: more shirtless posts

I have been running a lot more and doing pushups and other various exercise machines at the local sports complex.  Be patient and your dreams will come true soon enough.

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Quick Preview

I have been thinking up a new tumblr post for about 8 days, about the term “nerd,” and about whether it is ok that some people are ok with it, what it might mean if I call my kid one, even as a term of endearment, whether my kid really is one, and whether that’s ok.  Well, I know the answer to the last one already but the rest need a lot of workshopping.

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Creative Apex

I’m never going to get that novel written, and I’ll never play the guitar or banjo well enough to ever be in a real band even if I force my kids to learn instruments and I talk them out of college in favor of touring the midwest in a conversion van, playing local fall foliage festivals for free.  But none of that matters, because 5 years ago, I wrote this:

  1. Taught my mom how to text. Next up, teaching my dad how to love.
    @CranberryPerson (N/A) – 95

But then I think about how much the world would be diminished if other great artists, say, Scorsese or Hemingway or Tina Turner figured they had already peaked and were washed up at age 37 and we would have never seen Goodfellas, or read For Whom the Bell Tolls, or heard Private Dancer.  I start to wonder if it is fair for me to deprive the world of whatever my equivalent of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction is, and I look to see if my iPhone banjo tuner app is up to date because sometimes there are glitches where that particular app stops being able to communicate with the microphone…  

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Running Buddy

Graham, who is eight, has suddenly shown a distinct interest in distance running.  We’ve been dropping Parker off at football practice at a really nice local park, and then he and I will jog and do the nifty little workout machines they have placed throughout the park.  He’s gone more than two miles for the past two nights, and did a mile without taking a break, at a sub 10 minute pace, not bad for someone four feet tall with no real running experience.  Pretty psyched to have a running buddy.

His stated purpose for exercising?  To get big muscles and work on his abs so he can explore a modeling career.

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Dunno if it is lame

To post old stuff of mine that gets posted on thisdayinfavrd, but I always liked this one, and remember the circumstances of posting it quite well.  

  1. Driving my minivan alone. Need bumper sticker that reads “my other car doesn’t make me question what in God’s name my life has become.”
    @CranberryPerson (N/A) – 78

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Show don’t tell.

It’s not just a writing or cinematic platitude. It works great for your real life too.  Sure, there are times when you have to say things about yourself, but I have a particular distaste for people who constantly say things about themselves that really need to be proven with consistent conduct.  Don’t say “I never lie.”  Demonstrate it by consistently being honest.  Don’t say “I own up to my mistakes,” just own up to them.  Don’t say “I’m not judgmental,” listen to someone’s story and don’t be judgmental about it.  Don’t say “I’m loyal” or “I’m trustworthy” or anything similar- just be those things.  Let the people in your life learn it about you through your deeds, and soon enough they will be said about you, instead of by you.