I just saw a headline on CNN.com that read “Beyonce is already a wonderful mom.”  And I kind of wanted to let myself think that maybe it is because she has nannies, and maybe it is because taking care of a newborn is difficult and exhausting but really requires more stamina and willingness to do all the mechanical tasks related to keeping your baby clothed and fed and clean than it does actually parenting skill.  But I can’t let myself think that because I am a pretty cruddy parent.  Last night, my younger boy wanted to play Wii while I washed the dishes, but I told him to draw in his doodle book instead.  After I watched the dishes, he was still drawing in his doodle book and I went and checked up on how the internet is doing.  Before long, I realized it had been quite awhile since he started doodling and I asked to see the book.  Sure enough, it was full of silly but nasty and inappropriate stuff like people shooting each other, butts, dead stuff, people fighting, and lots and lots and lots of poop.  Although I was a little impressed with how well he writes the word “poop” and how he was able to say “diarrhea” with alarming clarity, I was mostly just dismayed and upset.  I started giving him the business about knowing what is appropriate and what isn’t, but it felt really hypocritical because how many times has he walked in while I’m watching Family Guy or Archer?  Or how many youtube videos has he seen of Elmo being decapitated by Mario?  All of that is on me.

So after his lecture he was pretty sad and upset, so I started the shower for him, and when he was done I sat down with him and we drew in the doodle book together, taking turns drawing nice things at a fancy party.  When that was done, I had him get a book he could read to me, and one I could read to him.  At that point, everyone felt a lot better, but I still feel like I haven’t been doing enough of that kind of stuff and I really need to, to not just expect him to know what’s naughty and what isn’t, and to model appropriate behavior, because that more than anything is what parenting is about.  Most of us learned how to behave as adults by watching how the adults in our lives behaved in day-to-day situations and I think it’s really easy to forget that.  I hope Beyonce doesn’t forget that.

Anyways, I will probably try to post something amusing and totally insincere later.