When I told my wife I had a tumblr I could tell she thought it was a dumb idea but she is way too kind and attractive to say anything like that. So when I begged her to stop watching Dancing with the Stars for five minutes to read my posts, there was a lot at stake. And frankly, it did not go well because she didn’t laugh, and she asked if I really thought the construction on I-79 was disrupting our marital communication. I accused her of never really loving me if she didn’t already know the answer to that question, but she couldn’t adequately respond because Kirstie Alley had lost her shoe and we just laughed and laughed because come on Kirstie get your shit together, right?

So but I think she wants to know what I want to accomplish by having a tumblr and I guess it is sort of going to be a creative outlet like back when I used to do pencil sketches of British dairy cows which you can’t really do on an iPad. I have tons of novels coming down the pike which are like, this coming of age story with some mild cannibalism and the one about the obese serial killer who trains for a marathon that was supposed to be my nanowrimo but I never finished. I also have the one that is a little bit “3 Men and a Baby” and a whole lot of “Wild Hogs.” I have a pretty severe lack of creativity so all my stories feature a character who is a lot like me but with one or more exaggerated and negative personality traits like extreme self-absorption or social anxiety or oppressive self-pity or serial killing. So, what that means is lots of thoughts about modern suburban maleness with lots of emotional embellishment.

I hope that answers any questions about what I am going to use my tumblr for.